Improving Family Ties
Our families are our source of identity and strength. They say you can choose your friends but definitely not the family you are born into. As you grow up, things may not be easy at home. Your parents may not always approve of your plans. Your siblings may not be as responsible as you wish they were. You sometimes feel alone and misunderstood. Life can be unfair. But this is your family and in many ways, you are still lucky to have one. Good family relationships don’t just happen. To achieve mature and loving relationships at home, a great deal of communication, cooperation and mutual respect within the family needs to be present. Here are some points on how to make life a lot sweeter and better with the clan:
- Communicate and listen. Communication is a mutual process. There is a give-and-take that comes with good communication. As one speaks, the other listens and does not interrupt. The listener waits for his turn to speak. After both parties are heard, they may start giving their comments on the issues at hand. In communicating, a lot of patience and respect are shown for the other person. This is done in the form of listening without being judgmental or biased. Within families, lack of good communication usually causes much misunderstanding and pain. It may not always be easy to reach out to your family members but breaking the ice, when the situation allows it, is a good start.
- Spend time with your family. You may be busy with school or work but spending a day with your family will help you feel closer to them. Spend time with your mom while she prepares your dinner. Talk to your dad about current events and business while he watches his favorite news program. You and your siblings can spend more time hanging out together. If you are still single, spare a day a week where you can do special things with your family. Spending time at the park or renting a nice video for everyone to watch at home will strengthen the bonds. If you are married with a family of your own, you can organize a family day at least once a month where everyone gets to spend some quality time together. A family picnic or a visit to your favorite theme parks is a welcome idea for everyone.
- Support each other. Our family members are still individuals. As individuals they have their own dreams to follow. Their dreams may not always be aligned with ours and yet, it is very comforting to know that someone supports and believes in them. Be supportive and offer encouragements. Instead of pushing and criticizing, showing your loyalty will help strengthen the family bonds.
- Understand each other’s personalities. Within the family, one can find varying personalities. We do not really know our parents and siblings even though we have lived under one roof for several years. Understanding how our parents and siblings react to certain situations can help us communicate with them better. One sibling may be more outgoing and expresses his feelings easily. Another may sulk a bit when ignored and may not always demonstrate his affections. A more outgoing personality may become sensitive and touchy when criticized. Knowing these will lead you to tread carefully around your family members when the situation calls for it.
- Don’t take things too personally. You may get hurt when your parents use harsh words on you. You may also think that they do not really care for you because they keep stopping you from doing the things you want to do. Your parents only want to keep you safe. They want what is best for you. So don’t hold things against them. Try to understand them more.
